So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
