sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize