spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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