I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I love having hate sex.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
