Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm at about main and main street
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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