you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
My vagina just recognized that song.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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