If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
smell my finger.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
