im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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