I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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