Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
