i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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