I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
