I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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