sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Randomize
