Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
