yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
you never un-have a 4some
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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