yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize