1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
someone threw a dead crab at me
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
