I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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