I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
