Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
