he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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