I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize