You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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