Why are handjobs necessary in class?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
