How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize