I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I want to make a zoo with you.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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