everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
my liver is dry heaving
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
