He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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