No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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