Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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