Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize