Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
