redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
