its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
