I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
