Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize