a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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