so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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