Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
