I think i peed on brittanys purse
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize