Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Small penises have feelings too.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
