# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just had sex on a roof
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
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