Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
ugly people sure do ruin things
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
