Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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