Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
