A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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