who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
