i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
