What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
