Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
