We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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