HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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