So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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