this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Holy sore nipples Batman
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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