Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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