apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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