I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
