btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
