Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
third nipple confirmed
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
