She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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